Heavenly or Haunted: Hornchurch Toilet Review

A long and tedious journey, was it worth it or not - polo aside this time. The multiple delayed trains and large amount of chicken before was not helping matters but the lights of the Harrow Lodge Leisure Center came to my rescue. The clenliness and aeasthetic of the Leisure Center taking to George and I like a pub on the wrong side of a tube station.

Walking in, the staff had a look at us and visibly recoiled looking at us, clearly not expecting two confused looking 20 something year olds to come into their very serious Leisure Center. After convincing the staff to let us in, we rushed in looking for the toilets. Graciously signed and clearly marked, the experience was ready to start.

The initial sign of cleanliness was a pleasant surprise. Everything shining was a nice, unexpected addition from the east london pool. What wasn't appreciated however was the smell. Think of a fishmoungeres at the end of a shift and you're halfway there. The cleaning product clearly having a rotting quality that just tainted the whole experience.

The expereince commenceth. Sitting down on the unflushed apperatus was ok, no extra protection needed. As George and I sat in tandem it was notable how the Radio was on - unclear on which station as it was always on the adverts during my brief exeprience. Not that I was listening particularly during this time, as George's waffling was keeping my attention fortunately.

Unfortunately for me though, thats the only entertainment available - the lack of signal inside was extremely dissapointing, no twitter scroll was found for me and it left me rethinking my life in many a way - Who is this person talking about car insurance? Why is George trying to talk to me while having a shit? Why have a waterpolo team so far from London? All questions I pondered while still not coming up with satisfying answers.

As my experience was nearing its end, I reached for some paper to find that none was there. Shocking form I must say as I had to ask Mr Adam if he had any spare - fortunately, he had enough for a single wipe but I was feeling thoroughly unclean after the experience.

I still had the feeling that Mr Adam was in the wars however, with some moaning creeping in at the end of my experience and a smell like a chemical weapon. Not something I'd wish on my worst enemy.

Dispite all of this, it was a much improved experience compared to the depths of Lewisham but still not anywhere close to the standard of Eton. Feels like an adequate 6/10.