Sexy Narwhals Swarm To Victory

This column has had plenty of pain to ruminate on over the past year. However, victories have started to come in thick and fast since June - are we in the right league for once? Who knows. What this editor does know, we were blooming magnificent.

In this second of a Blue Marlin doubleheader, the triumphant Narwhals rocked home to a 15-8 victory. Will we be analysing a tense and difficult first quarter? No. Will we talk about some schoolboy errors dropping off their best player in the first quarter? Not really. Will we talk about some terrible passing? Why would we? Prepare for at least 5 minutes typing about how sexy and rizztastic we are.

Swim off, first quarter played, blah blah blah. 2-1 Marlins. Foreplay over.

Goals from George, Nick, and Dario in the second half making it 6-5 to Narwhals. Excellent communication, spit roasting their pit player, identifying wobbly arc players - the pool screamed with delight.

The first half ended with a superb first goal for the club from halfway from on-loan midfielder Dario Mameli. He wins a much coveted Moment of the Game.

Shute thumbing it in 5 times was a highlight—the way the ball pumped into the goal was an organismic feat of endurance. The goal couldn't be carried out straight afterward it was so full of Nick’s wangs.

Zach continues his race to the golden fist with two majors. Beautiful well crafted goal saving majors. Energy and power thrusting forward. Holah forgot about the fisting race with his shot climaxing into the Marlins goal. No majors for Holan, clearly forgetting to take as well as give.

Gio grappled in all sorts of angles. Even a burst of speed and scored a sexy first-quarter goal.

Ed won the fluffer of the match. Magnificently edging the goal making those posts nice and hard. Saved from a trip to Portugal by stealing Nick's penno orgasm.

Man of the Match with almost all the votes was Matt Casanova Finch. Many a Narwhal was inspired by his swimming and shot selection. Well played.

Will the first fixture be covered by the “mainstream media”? Who knows. George you say knows? Well….