The Narwhals Set Sail for Victory: A Swashbuckling Tale of Triumph

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with the grand tale of the mighty Narwhals, who braved the treacherous waters of back-to-back battles and emerged victorious, their winning streak now stretching to uncharted territory—four wins from four!

Battle the First: Orca B – The Thameside Skirmish

On the fateful eve of Wednesday, February 12th, our vessel set sail into the perilous depths of the Thameside League, our first voyage in the 2025 season. A rare bounty of twelve Narwhal pirates answered the call to arms—a sight so uncharacteristic it nearly sent the crew into a mutiny! But with cutlasses drawn and water churning, we set to work against the scurvy-ridden crew of Orca B.

Scrappy seas make for scrappy battles, and this one was as wild as a storm in the Bermuda Triangle. Yet, amidst the chaos, our superior skills won through, earning us to a 17-8 victory.

Stories of this mighty sea battle will be told for only a few hours, but heroes did emerge. Cabin boy Zach went full cannon ball in the first quarter, earning two early majors before limping back to shore with a dodgy shoulder. Captain Nick continued his pillaging and plundering, bagging six goals, whilst Corsaro Gio missed his chance to engage in his favourite pastime, bullying landlubbers. Goals were scattered among the crew like pieces of eight, with only Rob Dickinson setting sail for the sun-kissed coasts of Portugal. That may seem unfair, as to his credit, he did a fine job marking the pit—perhaps we’ll grant him passage back aboard for a return journey.

Man of the Match: Dario, our own “Capitano Tempesta” adorned with his own pirate earring, snatched two goals, and covered more ocean than a sea serpent. A resounding 5 votes.

Moment of the Match: Ed “Rear Admiral” Gamble unleashed a cannonball pass the full length of the pool, allowing Nick to slot home a goal with the grace of a seasoned buccaneer.

Fluffer(s) of the Match: A mutinous quartet shared the dishonour for this game.

Gary, for simply being Gary.

Matt Finch, for simply being Matt Finch.

Holah, for lobbing the ball at Dario’s head instead of the keeper, leading to an Orca goal.

Ed Gamble, who, after a masterclass in pit play, turned his marker, dummied the keeper and defender, only to then sky his shot from 2.5m out. A finer execution had never been seen—until it wasn’t. The blame? Clearly the ball’s fault.

With another notch on our mast, we celebrated our triumph and set course for the next battle.