The Stormzy Meal

We’ve all seen Stormzy’s go to order at McDonalds, but what about our might Narwhals I hear you say? We’ll an away game in Essex v Easter Otter gave the perfect opportunity to find out with a cheeky stop on the way home.

The Gambler

Double Quarter Pounder with cheese, McDonald's Fries, Coke, McFlurry

Despite the name, this ones a safe bet. Meat, chips, don’t faff around with any of that low fat or sugar free soft drink nonsense. Ice cream.

The Zack Attack

Large McCrispy (no mayo), McDonald's Fries, 3 Chicken Selects, 6 Piece Chicken McNuggets, McFlurry

“How else do you think the Sphere eats?”. All you need for an immovable pit defender.

The South London Shuter

Double Quarter Pounder with cheese, McDonald's Fries, Coke Zero, 3 Chicken Selects

A classic Maccas order with a South London twist. It’s no Morley’s, but it does the job.

The Babymaker

Double Whopper with cheese

All meat, no trimmings. Pure protein for big shots and big shags.

The McFlasher

Double McFlasher (coming soon), McDonald's Fries (Large), Coffee (Black)

Be carful with this one, can remove ones awareness, resulting in speeding tickets.

The Van Der Merwe

Big Tasty, McDonald's Fries (Large), 6 Piece Chicken McNuggets, Coke Zero, McFlurry

Feeling guilty about your fitness? Get a burger with a salad and make the Coke a Zero. The McNuggets are “for later”, but you’ll eat them in the car.

The Unassuming Idiot

McChicken (no mayo), Sprite (Large), McFlurry (random flavour)

Bought separately not realising you can get as meal deal. Pick a McFlurry flavour that’s been discontinued and then just accept whatever you’re given instead.

The Stevie Wonder

The New York Stack, McDonald's Fries (Large), Coke, Free Sunglasses

Absolute blinder of a meal. Literally. Don’t play in goal after eating this one, you won’t be able to see the ball more than 6m away

The Gladiator

Menu Insalata con petto di pollo croccante, Pomodoro di Pachino IGP e Parmigiano Reggiano DOP

When a pure athlete is dragged to McDonalds by his reprobate team mates, chicken, salad and water keeps the calories at a minimum.

A decent 18-7 win made the trip even more worthwhile.

Motm was Shute for grabbing 8 goals.

Moment goes to Andy for his Penalty save, giving away another penalty in the ensuing melee, then seeing the next penalty hit the post.

Fluffer goes to Volvo V60 WG71 TFE. Non game moment to Finch Snr for playing dad and getting the car started.

Will the winning streak continue tonight vs our South London rivals the Leeches?